Starbucks coffee, the new illegal school drug


OK, so my caffeine crazed daughter loves to “buzz” by Starbucks in the AM before school to get her bi-weekly (decaf) “buzz.” Her addiction is the iced white chocolate mocha usually in venti which she pleasurably sips, and savors with a few “ahhhhs” escaping in between her sips. Once in the building, she makes a quick dash to her locker where she keeps her Starbucks stash that she excitedly savors between classes. On occasion she will bring a friend an iced coffee as a pay back for borrowing lunch money.  Once the aroma of Starbucks hits the school air it never fails that several frenzy induced students begin to steal sips from the locker dwelling beverages. Her teacher is aware of her fondness with Starbucks and simply shakes her head and laughs. Well last week she decided to a few of her friends in the decaf iced white chocolate mochas. She owed some of these friends money for lunch and they decided she would pay them back with Starbucks. So off she strode into the school with her coffee carrier laden down with drinks. She rapidly and stealth like (so as not to offend any of the other kids) distributed the drinks which the girls each placed in their lockers. One of the teachers caught sight of a student sipping on the iced coffee at her locker and immediately became rabid! She figured the drink came from my daughter and hunted her down like a poacher after Ivory tusks. When she found my female child she began to twitch and foam at the mouth as she hissed “Don’t you ever bring one of those drinks to my students again!!”  drawing much attention to the previously unnoticed beverages.  All of the drinks were rounded up and placed under quarantine. The other girls immediately gave up their goods but my female was not about to surrender her liquid gold so quickly. Only after she was promised that she would get the drink back and that it would be kept under refrigeration did she let go of her prized possession. The rabid teacher notified the principal and continued to hate on my daughter, who reminded her that the teacher herself drank coffee and approximately 27 Dr. Peppers a day during school. My daughter was jacked that she was getting reamed out for something that she has been doing all year and that her Starbucks was confiscated and deemed an illegal school beverage. Hmmmm, I predict to see Starbucks being added to future urine screens and k9 locker patrols. As the flair saying goes “They might as well call it crack!”


Grande, Grande, Venti!!!


One response to “Starbucks coffee, the new illegal school drug

  1. OMG…your site is awesome! I am impressed with your writing ability and I laughed so hard. Poppy and I are eating and blowing chunks with each sentence!…keep up the good work!

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