Beware of the Geriatric Mower


cartoon man on mower

I was driving along today in our new vehicle (that I am still trying to fell the love for) when I spotted him, the geriatric mower.  I do not know his name but he was moving at gravity defying speeds while mounted on his shiny riding mower.  He wore a white tank and straw hat.  That’s about all I could see because the rest was a blur of movement.  When I first saw him he was 1/2 way between his yard and the road upon which I was driving.  His body lurched from side to side thanks to the uneveness of the land.  In addition, each bump in the yard heaved him several inches into the air before returning him to the mower’s seat again.  It became obvious that he was moving very, very quickly….no, he was FLYING!

He reached the edge of his yard, where the road began.  I was almost parallel him.  I ignorantly assumed he would stop for my much larger, much faster, vehicle because most people, who mow their grass near a main road, yield to the car.  It’s just the thing to do for those individuals who value their lives.  I kept my pace without stopping and unfortunately so did he!!  Glancing up at my car with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, or maybe it was cataracts, the geriatric Evil Kinevel  dare devil hopped the graduated curb onto the road, made a quick U turn (I bet if you looked close enough you would see that two of the for wheels were off the ground), before power jumping the graduated curb again back into his yard just as my bumper came dangerously close to his rear tire.   Exhaling slowly I sighed thankful for the fact that I was not wearing him nor his mower on my grill and windshield!!  I guess after sizing up the opponent, he did not think my little 4 cylinder wagon posed much of a threat to his pimped out mower.  I have to wonder about that myself.

It was obvious that he enjoyed the speed and freedom his mower allowed him to experience.  You can bet that the next time I see a geriatric mower, I will be certain to never underestimate the power of the elderly living life dangerously on the edge!


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