My daughter decided to add a better Grasshopper specimen to her insect collection for her Science project. She found a beauty of a Grasshopper and placed it in a baggie with finger nail polish remover. An unnamed Science teacher at an unnamed school recommended this method of effective death for the unfortunate insects. Not wanting the visual image of the dying Grasshopper permanently seared in my brain, I left the room. My daughter laughed as she gave me a verbal blow by blow of the dying process with descriptions like “it’s twitching….it’s pooping…it fell head first into the nail polish remover…” I immediately reverted to “Laa, laa, laaa I’m not listening!” Although I heard every sad word. Well, she decided she could not take it any longer and removed her lifeless captive from the baggie. Thankfully she laid the insect on a magazine to await its pinning to the cork board. Suddenly Genevieve (we got personally attached) began to twitch as life coursed through her body. The twitching became more intense and turned into outright movement. It was obvious that Genevieve was returning from the great beyond. Life must go on…in more ways than one. You see, Genevieve was “with child.” Fearing death, she began to dump her eggs all over the magazine she rested upon. More eggs and more eggs and more eggs came out of who knows where within her body. The kids hovered amazed at what was occurring while my youngest intermittently spooned dinner into his mouth. I was in shock and slightly nauseous thinking about dinner in the midst of insect pinning, egg laying and the stench of death enhanced by Mr. stink bug. My dinner was threatening to revisit my mouth and I was fighting to keep it in my stomach. To my horror, the Grasshopper eggs disappeared among the Nerds (candy) and rice on the kitchen table. Clorox time x 100. I think I scrubbed the surface of my counter raw.
I feel weak.
You unnamed Science teacher are responsible for the mass murder of innocent insects, a pregnant Grasshopper and her babies.