Eat me is not to be used as an excuse….

Since I am incubating my muffin top (click to see previous post) I decided to do it up right!  I decided to indulge in so many extra calories that I will drip sugar sweat all over my elliptical. 

Today I fired up the oven and cranked out the baked goods like some non-human conveyor belt.  Equally as rapid was the taste testing and oh, was I reminded of how sick one can become after mass amounts of sugar consumption!  I operated like a well oiled machine.  Some on the tray, some in my mouth…Some on the tray, some in my mouth.  I felt like Laverne and Shirley working on their brewery assembly line job, only I remained in my kitchen bathed in flour and dehydrated from sugar overload. 

 Yes, muffin top you have great possibilities this season. 

Laverne and Shirley on the assembly line

 As I was assembling and cooling my goods I happened to notice something.  Let’s see if you can identify the common denominator in these photos…ready?

Photo #1

I spy with my little eye...something....

 
Photo #2 

I still spy with my little eye…

 

 See it or should I say her?  Yes, my biggest baking fan and supporter.  She is patient.  She is crafty.  She will wait and attack with perfected table surfing skills which would earn her a 10.0 should she be scored.           
                                                                                                   
 She is none other than my faithful food driven Lab.  She will sample my creations with or without permission regardless of the final outcome.  Burnt, dry, doughy, or divine it doesn’t matter to her.  Agility and air assault are combined with one big inhalation and the goodies are gone.  Not even a single crumb is left behind as a reminder of what was.  The plate is licked clean and if one would feel inspired to take a closer look (like say, the baker whose goods are suddenly GONE), the streaks of dried canine saliva are evident.                                                                 
 
The kids, when being piggish, have actually tried to use the table surfing dog as an excuse for vanished product.   However, if these above mentioned canine spit streaks are absent then the dog is pardoned and the kids are judged guilty.  The chocolate stains on their little mouth(s) also helps to excuse the dog from certain doom.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      
                                                                                                                                   

After the rage passes and a few deep breaths are taken, I must admit that her effectiveness is rather impressive.  She can clear a table faster than anyone or anything I’ve ever seen…and I’ve been to many all-you-can eat buffets and have experienced (up close and personal) the “folk” who frequent these joints.  I think the XXXL adult bibs with personalized food stains troubled me the most. 

Shiver, back to my food stealing lab…..

Eat me!

My children, who have turned into food stealing lab defense attorneys, have launched their case as “Mommy, it’s almost as if the food is beggin’  for her to “eat me.”  And she does. 

 

 

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2 responses to “Eat me is not to be used as an excuse….

  1. What is “her” name, this innocent looking canine?

  2. haha innocent she pulls off well except when she is wheezing on the food she just inhaled. Then the “who me” approach doesn’t quite work. Her name is Angel. The kids named her and we agreed in the hopes that the name would have a self fulfilling prophesy of it’s meaning!

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