Hot and Stupid

A video tribute to Valentine’s Day

Sorry to disappoint but this post is not about a blonde, bombshell Barbie who fails to score above 500 on her SATs.

True, she does have a full body of lustrous locks.  And yes, she isn’t exactly the reincarnation of Einstein but that’s where the similarities between bombshell Barbie and ignoramus Angel end.

Angel?

Angel is our faithful, dim-witted, family canine who seeks out human companionship like Jersey Shore’s “The Situation” preys upon female flesh.

She is intense.  Her pursuit of love and affection is never-ending even if it means placing herself in less than ideal situations.  Angel will wait.  Patiently.  And then wait a little more for that brief moment of bliss when a random human finally acknowledges her panting, smelly presence and offers her an obligatory scratch.

Why do we have her?

Because seven years ago our daughter, at the ripe age of 7, demanded her and we caved pretended it was our idea.  Chalk it up to hormones, sleep deprivation and insanity on my part…I had a newborn attached to my body 24/7 sucking my life source.  Clearly, I was not in a stable frame of mind.

And many times I question Angel’s mental stability.  I think she got the short end of the cranial material.  Either that or she is truly LOVE starved.  Although, I consider dental checks, brushing, ear cleaning, toe nail clipping and hog-tying-bath-time the apex of sacrificial LOVE.  BUUT  She must desire more agape as evidenced today when she attempted to cook herself just to be by my side.

We were alone.  I was cold so I pulled up a comfy chair and cranked on the gas fireplace.  The kids were in school and she was in her chronic emotional state of neediness.  She refused to part from my presence even though the creature was obviously tormented by the heat.  Because of video size limits, you will only see a clip of her torment below….but it is more than enough.

What you do not get to visually appreciate is the constant discomfort and position changes, the Semi Truck panting, the moistening of the parched lips and the pathetic looks in my direction begging me to move away from the inferno flames.  I did not move.  I chose to remain tush planted and film my intellectually challenged subject.

Eventually compassion moved me.  Well, NO actually I feared she would succumb to hyperthermia induced brain damage and she requires as many actively firing brain cells as possible! 

So Angel, as we come upon the holiday of LOOOOVE…this post is for you…our Hot and Stupid one!

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7 responses to “Hot and Stupid

  1. My mom has a cat just like that. She can stare at nothing forever and randomly fears threshholds.

  2. I told my kids we would get a dog once the three year old was potty trained – I honestly thought it would never happen. I am waiting for them to realize this has occurred and remember the promise…

  3. Oh, Angel. Do I have a hot, dumb friend for you. My yellow lab will eat herself vomitous multiple times a day if we’d let her.

    My husband says, “You’d think she’d learn her lesson and stop eating the entire contents of both garbage cans.”

    Ummm…..no. She is a dog. She doesn’t learn. She’s hungry. All the time. Period.

    Therefore, I hope my house never burns down. Bella will not be coming to our rescue. She’ll be waiting to see if we leave the pantry door open in our haste to escape the flames…

    • Such TRUTH! Labs are so food driven. Angel has been on a projectile vomit streak lately due to her raids on the neighbor’s garbage! I’ve learned soooo much about the neighboorhood eating habits when the contents of their garbage lands on my floor. Gogurt must be a universal stable for famlies with kids! Needless to say, we really feel the love from the neighborhood. If they only knew that we pay dearly for her dumpster diving.

      Yes, let’s hope our lives don’t depend on them anytime – E V E R!

  4. Pingback: The letter that started it all | The Botut Blog

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