“I’m not perfect but pretty darn close”

I was coming out of the store cult of all store cults [Wal-Mart] a few days ago and got to witness an explosive argument between a man and woman.  This particular day I was in a “I have time to stop and get high on the flowers” frame of mind.  Most of my days are the mission impossible types where you could be spontaneously combusting beside me and I wouldn’t stop.

I slowed my rapid pace to a crawl and tuned into parking lot brawl fest 101.1  From what I could gather from the lung rage, the woman was at fault.  Apparently she made an irresponsible budget error that was going to cost the couple dearly.  She attempted to “sneak” objects into the cart without her partner finding out.  

Hello, woman?  Unless you are planning a ‘Thomas Crown Affair’ you’re supposed to do this when he isn’t around or NOT at all! 

Once busted she became very belligerent and defensive.  At one point she bellowed “I’m not perfect but pretty darn close!!!”  I believe it was this comment that sent the slippers sailing to Kansas.

I thought about suggesting a rapid return of merchandise but then decided against it once I saw the emotional escalation and astral projection of goods.  The words “wrong place, wrong time” rang in my head as I visualized both spaziods transferring their anger upon me….and it didn’t seem like a party I wanted to attend.  So, I did the self-preservation thing and continued with the auditory stalking.

Conveniently I parked close to the kill zone and they were screaming so I didn’t have to listen too intently.  I got to witness pretty much the entire event play out and not only managed to maintain a heart beat, but also gathered an important piece of data. 

Two words and only two words should have been spoken by the woman when her husband caught her in an intentional act of irresponsibility.  These words are difficult to speak and often involve a huge digestion of pride.  However, like an entire bomb squad these two little words have the ability to diffuse a verbal nuclear Holocaust. 

They are…….


Note:  I also find “yes, I was wrong” moves mountains as well and when combined  with behavior modification produces miraculous effects.  

I guess they could be considered three words without the contraction form.  These little words are powerful and produce dramatic results.  When spoken in sincerity, they make us own our actions.  They cause us to accept responsibility.  And rather than hours of heated warfare, a disagreement is often reduced to minutes if one party is willing to utter “I’m sorry.”  Yes, the other party may continue to rant and may attempt to get on a little rage but they can only fuel the fire solo for a limited time before the sincere  “I’m sorry” kills the action.

What a novel idea huh?  I’m sorry, I’m not perfect but pretty darn close!

9 responses to ““I’m not perfect but pretty darn close”

  1. ya know the funny thing though? if you would have said anything to them (not that you SHOULD!) they both would have turned on YOU! Go figure!

    good message.

  2. Great post, true words, cute phrases …[So, I did the self-preservation thing and continued with the auditory stalking] … made me giggle because I would have done the same thing. How often in public does a person get to see that sort of thing, as sad as it is? Not often. Great story for all of us. Thanks, Mary

  3. Author Kristen Lamb

    Very funny! Wal Mart is great for people-watching and oh the stories that could come out of there. What a great blog. I like how you took a personal experience ans turned it into a message.

    Thanks for commenting on my blog. I wouldn’t have known about you otherwise.

  4. You are so right (and clearly, almost perfect). Another phrase that’s worked wonders for me in my marriage: “Thank you.”
    I think too many of us take for granted things our loved ones do for us because “it’s his job” or “she’s supposed to” or “that’s just the way it’s always been.”
    But I always say thank you. For making the coffee. Even though he’s done it for years. For taking out the trash. Because if he didn’t, we’d become an episode of Hoarders.
    I’m sorry. I was wrong. Thank you.
    How much better off we’d all be if we uttered those phrases more often.
    (and also, if we didn’t throw slippers in a Wal-Mart parking lot…)

    • That is great advice and wise words of wisdom. Just think how many fights could be avoided by those words alone mixed with a little appreciation.

  5. Pingback: The friendless loser and the pimps. | The Botut Blog

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