Tanning beds make my white parts tingle.

My daughter, Uno, has wanted to prostrate herself on the hedonistic bed of lights for a couple of years.  I understand her desire for some vitamin D because I began my heated affair with the sun in 8th grade. Actually, the tan was a bi-product of my devotion to stalking the hunky older neighbor boy during his outdoor activities.

I was a dedicated voyeur who spent hours peering at the bronzed god through my Uncle’s high-powered hunting binoculars and subsequently became very tan!  After experiencing the sun’s kiss, I was a committed follower who didn’t cheat until  reaching the age of 16yrs.  At 16yrs I entered my first tanning bed in the name of Prom preparation.   The then 30 min (gasp) fake bake occurred during an era prior to public awareness of the dangers associated with sun exposure.  Given that education has enlightened me on the evils of tanning, I really don’t want my virgin skinned daughter to fry. 

Being the awesome mom that I am [and showing nauseous pictures of old prunes and oozing skin cancer], I have always managed to divert her longing for skin sabotage.   Plus, the child is 1/2 Filipino.  She merely has to look at the sun and she bronzes.  But let’s face it, winters are too long and that type of parenting [fear based pictures of nauseous prunes threatening oozing skin cancer] only works so well for so long…and I knew it.

The day came when she could not be deterred any longer.  Well, I am PARENT and deterrence is always an option but I figured the bake would be a good learning adventure.  I parent the leave and cleave way. Life must be lived. Lessons must be learned.

Sun trackers

We walked into the tan place prepared.  She didn’t falter even when the girl presented Uno with the sun tracker (stickers applied to track tan progress) choices of a Playboy bunny, heart, star, or Hemp leaf.  I knew the heart and star were nixed and I was hoping she didn’t select the porno bunny.  That left the Hemp leaf.  

Wait, what mother secretly hopes for their daughter to pick a brain cell killing marijuana leaf?  The kind who takes her to a place that kills skin cells.

I waited. 

Uno said, “No thanks.  I don’t like any of them.”  Success!  Now, that’s the beauty of proper parenting and preparation baby!

However, what I wasn’t  prepared for was Uno’s “Hey Mom, will you tan with me ’cause I’m kinda afraid.”  Ugh, I have spent years absorbing UV and have the fine lines and wrinkles to prove it.  Miraculously, I appear much younger than my birth age and I’d like to keep it that way.  

How about you?  Do you guys take the risk and tan or avoid the sun at all costs?

My soon to be 40yr old face

With continued tanning this will be me in a few years

Utlimately the yearning for that UV high of old (and Uno’s begging eyes) outweighed the developing lines and wrinkles. Before I could exhale, I found myself horizontal, butt naked and dermally absorbing some rays.

Uno was happily golden after one exposure and with my white parts tingling, I remembered that I deeply dislike tanning beds.

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14 responses to “Tanning beds make my white parts tingle.

  1. I am an awful lot Swedish, and let me tell you, those Swedish bikini team photos showing tan beauties are a vicious, vicious lie. All my parts are white parts. Even when I was young and dumb enough to try to get a tan (me, with my triple-cancer-threat pale skin, light eyes and blonde hair), I simply went a slightly darker shade of pale. And now, with the fine lines and wrinkles? Totally not worth it. Wish I could go back 20 years and clear that up for my young self.

    P.S. You are gorgeous!

  2. “Wait, what mother secretly hopes for their daughter to pick a brain cell killing marijuana leaf?”

    LOL, nice. Also, nice pictures to illustrate your point. Personally, I’m a gamer, so I never really get too much sun. Unless I do yardwork. But yes, I worry about the day my daughter will bring up this subject. Luckily for me, that day is far off.

    • That’s the beauty of boys! My oldest son has to have a timer set to limit his Xbox action or else he would morph into the console. Although, I have known of guys to frequent the beds (think Jersey Shore). Enjoy the young years now while devising your game plan for the later years. It is most fun!

  3. Thanks Keenie Beanie! haha, I am a white bread too only I have over exposed my parts to the point of some color! I do tan but my cousin is a sun reflector like you (sorry Jen!) I used to make her lay beside me so I would absorb her refractory rays. But ultimately you are correct….to go back and remove the damages would be nice. Sigh.

  4. Haha! Where were you when I was a teen? I don’t tan in the beds but I don’t avoid the sun either. For some reason it feels good to have sum color!

    • Yes, it does feel good to have a little color. If only I was blissfully ignorant to the damages the way I used to be when I slathered myself with baby oil and cooked all day!

  5. I love the way I look with a tan, but I’m pretty terrified of skin cancer. Enter tanning lotion… 🙂

    • I know – same here. I use 100 block on my face and 30+ everywhere else! This bed experience was the first time I had faked baked in YEARS! I wish my Italian heritage was a little more Southern Italian rather than Northern Italy. But I won’t complain because at least I can bring on the color!

  6. I’m with Keenie Beanie…I’m 3/4 German with a bit of English thrown in…I’m about as white as you can get. Any sun I get is just from being outside, and I use sunscreen every day in the summer. I’ll be 50 this year, and being careful about the sun has paid off for me, I think…a few wrinkles, but not as many as some of my friends!

    None of my girls has ever asked to tan…I think I’ve trained them well…

    Wendy

  7. Wanna train Uno?

  8. I’ve been toying with the idea lately because this winter has been such a bummer and I can’t remember the last time I saw sunshine. I’m thinking one of those stickers would be a lot of fun!

    • I think the LONG winter is what left me horizontal under the UV! We used to make our own stickers “back in the day” when I lathered on the iodine laced baby oil and fried my flesh. Too bad I didn’t think of the Sun Tracker idea. Let me know how they work!

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