Unlike the song, I CAN wait to get on the road again. Usually I am Mrs. Travel Pants Pavlov but not this time. We are embarking on a road trip to New York, New York to visit my handsome, SINGLE brother-in-law (Ahem, all the single ladies…) Check out my post We Thought We Were Good for a video of Mr. GQ. Sorry my dear brother-in-law but payback is in order!
The preparation has been insane and stressful. Anything that could go wrong has. Dogs: our pro-table surfer, food consumed Lab, devoured an entire package of buns and developed itchy earitis due to the yeast content.
Kids: our youngest son, Tres cozied up to a female classmate (Darn, his sister for creating that ‘Hot Mess’ wristband – see Twitter status on right). Who knew she had Strep?!? Obviously not Tres. Now, the biggest germ-a-phobe of the Pavlov family has created his own Strep breeding ground.
I breathed a sigh of relief and gave myself a pat on my muscle knotted back when I caught it five days before our departure date. Antibiotic therapy began and everything should have been good to go. Who knew that he would develop antibiotic induced diarrhea?!? Yep. It has been lovely around here (I’ll let you use your imagination to conjure up images of never-ending, foul-smelling, exploding, liquid feces). Who knew that Yogurt products/probiotics are only minimally effective this time? The older siblings can mimic the wide-eyed expression and butt grabbing maneuver of Tres almost perfectly. When we witness these two things, we charge him screaming and hurling his little body in the direction of the bathroom. Sometimes we make it but most times…NOT.
Packing: our suitcases are too small. Who knew they would shrink since we used them last? I suck at packing. I can never seem to make it work. Then there are people like Mr. Pavlov and my Grandma who simply breath on the items and they fall perfectly into place with plenty of room to spare.
We are leaving disgustingly early tomorrow and I still have a horde of things to do. My mind is mushier than it’s baseline mushiness. I thought I would zip off a post because I don’t think I will be posting for a few days. The thought of posting on my smart phone is not appealing. The buttons are too small even for my petite fingers and the screen makes me dizzy. In addition, we will be on a bus (for a LONG time) and smart phone posting combined with the movement = projectile vomit.
I’m somewhat twitchy about this bus ride. The last time I was on a bus was in the Philippines. It was 100 + degrees with 150% humidity. The air condition was broken and the windows were sealed shut. As if that wasn’t hellatious enough, a small child seated in the aisle across from me, decided to vomit….repeatedly…the entire trip. Who knew the smell of vomit would hang in the hot, humid air and persistently cling to my nostrils long after the ride was over.
Why are my bus rides filled with erupting bodily fluids? I will likely have diarrhea toosh duty (Oh dear God, I hope they have bathrooms on the bus!) so if you happen to think you are having a bad day remember me and I bet your day suddenly becomes brighter!
I’m sure it will be fine once we begin our journey. I’m sure it will….I’m sure it will…I’m sure it will. Tell me it will! If not, I can always pop some of my conveniently packed Tylenol (PM). Because Who knew they’d put you to sleep?
And above all, I’m sure I will have much to write about. This, I knew!