Eye candy, alien guts and radioactive wallpaper: I want my kid’s life

My kids have it made.  I want their life.

When I grew up shopping consisted of a ONCE a year experience for the solo purpose of obtaining back to school clothes.  During this process, I had to painfully choose from several “I just can’t live without” outfits and quickly discovered that life continued with or without the cool color stripe on the side of the designer jeans.  I left the store with enough clothes to cover the important parts but not enough to prevent the dread of wearing the same outfit twice in the same week.

Fast forward to 2011 and let me introduce you to my daughter, who is able to shop like a politician is able to lie….easily!  Whenever the shopping mood strikes (and usually after she’s saved up her allowance) we are off to the local mall.  She leaves the stores looking something like this:

Sephora, an American Eagle bag so full the bottom is about to break.....

and on the back….

....a little eye candy and Abercrombie

When I grew up entertainment consisted of….well, this:

A game of cards and poker chips!

And hours and hours of outdoor play.  We were quite skilled in the art of mud-pie making and creating jewerly masterpieces with the butts of lightening bugs.  Lightening bug jewelery was especially a hit with the boys who got to gut the bugs without us girls stopping them.  It was all about the bling – even back then because bling is timeless.  We never uttered the words “I’m BOORRED!” nor expected our parents or things to entertain us.  We were the creative captains of our own entertainment and yes,  a few lightening bugs died in the process.

My oldest son would never think of gutting a lightning bug and smearing the bling around the wrist of a female friend.  Instead he guts aliens sans the gut smearing.  He has his own creative captain area good for hours of brain numbing entertainment.  Because we love him and desire to salvage some brain cells, Mr. Pavlov and I have conveniently placed a pre-set timer with a LOUD alarm to signal an end to the cerebral damage.  It’s the least we could do.

His creative mess: Captain chair, Xbox 360, Xbox, Wii and a small, little timer to limit the brain damage

And he is never short on options…..

ONE of the many drawers of choices

He just informed us that he has saved enough money for a 36″ flat screen TV to complete the entertainment paradise.

And speaking of saving money….if you have followed my Facebook and twitter updates then you are already aware that my “baby” saved for several years to dump it on this beauty:

ipad2 with beautiful (ahem, me) wallpaper

I know he finds great joy in transforming me into a radioactive beast with weird eyes however,  the next time he has a buldging bank account and the spending itch, I think I’ll work my mad mothering skills to convince him that a trip to the Spa would produce better results!  After seeing me in an avocado mask with cucumber slices for my eyes, I’m sure he’ll agree.

Yes, my kids have it made.  If, in their adulthood, they should blog about the difficulties and deprivation of their childhood then I will shove this post under their noses to effectively correct any misconceptions.

Did I mention that computers and blogs were non-existent when I was growing up?

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13 responses to “Eye candy, alien guts and radioactive wallpaper: I want my kid’s life

  1. I grew up in the country where lightning bug jewelry was an art and clover necklaces were the bling too. Played outside for HOURS.

  2. Amen sister…to ALL of the above!!

    • Haha – It takes one from that era to relate! When I suggest that my kids do something that was “fun” or “cool” from my childhood I just get the blank “are you serious?!” stare. If they only knew!

  3. Hehehehe, with my kids, I am glad there is a lot that they DON’T know 🙂

  4. Ohmygosh I’m living your life…My mother never came up with an idea to entertain my sister and me in our lives.

    We would roller skate over stink bugs for fun.

    Sad but true stories of someone born in 1968,

    Your kids are adorable though. And you’re making them save allowance and earn special things, so…

    GOOD JOB, Mama!

    Or should I call you the radioactive beast?

    Either way. Strong work.

    • Julie – it was definitely the era! In many ways I think it was better but I’m sure the lightning and stink bugs would disagree.
      Radioactive beast,
      Beth

  5. I think you would have had more money to take shopping had you played less poker. Just a thought.
    My brother, 15 yrs older, lamented when I got a CD player for christmas that “He never got one when he was my age.” I replied: “That’s because you had 8-tracks.”
    And I’m wondering if I can get an allowance so I can start saving?

    • So that’s what happened to all of my invisible money??? I give them the allowance because I never had a dime of my own until I began sweat labor at McDonalds. Oh the bliss of going into a store with my entire $36 pay and buying something just because I could.

      Let’s see….I’m sure my son would gladly part with his poop scooping duty. It’s not pretty and doesn’t pay that well but it’s yours!

  6. Don’t forget to tell them how we all had to walk to school in the snow, uphill *both ways*!!! Heh, heh, heh 🙂

  7. I feel your pain, Beth! When I was a kid, we’d go outside right after breakfast, come in for lunch and supper, and go back out until my mom called us in for bed (which, sadly, was 8:30 – it was so not fair!). I wanted Levi jeans, so I saved up my money from babysitting, picking berries, and delivering newspapers, and bought them myself!

    My kids look at me like I have two heads when I tell them I’ve been working since I was ten, and if I suggest they play outside, they say, “There’s nothing to do!” They have a huge back yard, bikes, a trampoline, a tire swing, and a canoe (we live right on the river). There’s lots of woods to play in too…sigh…

    Wendy

    • We had almost the identical schedule growing up Wendy! And our current backyard is a mirror image of yours minus the river.

      Kids today……

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