Happiness is when the tooth fairy takes her dementia meds

This is worth at least $5

Continuing with the dental theme, Tres just lost another tooth (proudly displayed above).  I can’t keep up with this kid.  He laughs out teeth.  He sneezes out teeth.  He coughs out teeth.  Ok, not really but they are dropping faster than my aging skin.  And these baby pearls come with a high price tag.

Remember when .25 cents was the going rate and anything above was a massive bonus?  Today kids expect green backs…paper…dollars (plural!)  I learned of this fact by evesdropping listening to a ball field conversation where a few kids were discussing their tooth fairy earnings….earnings that could be claimed on a 1040EZ!!

But this tooth fairy’s kids are happy for whatever they find under their pillow because this tooth fairy is incompetent.  The incompetence grew worse with each child and sadly, Tres didn’t stand a numerical chance.  She often forgets about the tooth and day after day her kids awake to the [now stinkin’] tooth under their pillow.  So when the tooth is finally replaced with whatever she can scrounge up, elation is the emotion in this house.  The dejected “She didn’t come again…my tooth is still here…I think she has dementia!!!” is replaced with “I got a quarter!!!!!!! She came!!!!! She took my tooth!!!!!  Whoo-hoo she must have taken her dementia meds!!!”

We also do other things like attempt to capture the developmental moment…..

Holding a tooth penny and refusing to show the missing teeth

I won't smile.

Not gonna happen...my teeth are "private parts!"

I could claim mad genius.  I could say that it was the tooth anti-inflation master plan all along.  And when they blame me for ruining the reputation of the imaginary characters of their youth I just may.  But for once my disorganized, forgetful ways paid off.

I am not super mom.  I am not the organized, crafty type.  I am not Martha Stewart.  I am imperfectly human.  I dig in dirt without gloves and get dirt under my finger nails.  I make a mess, daily.  I live, laugh and love hard….

…and I forget about the teeth under my kid’s pillows.

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16 responses to “Happiness is when the tooth fairy takes her dementia meds

  1. rukhshiixoxo89

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  2. 🙂 our toothfairy got drunk alot, at least that was my story when she forgot, as she sometimes did… we do what we can as parents, sometimes all you can do is laugh 🙂

  3. You are too funny – tooth fairy dementia meds – priceless! I’m not sure if you read this dooce piece on being the tooth fairy, but if not I think you will really like it: http://www.dooce.com/2011/03/14/second-tooth

  4. Thanks Keenie – I haven’t read that yet but I’ll check it out next!
    Beth

  5. Oh, mama, it happens to the best of us.

    And with or without dementia, you handle it brilliantly.

    I’m smiling with all my grown-up teeth.

    (and wishing for the days when my kids still believed…)

    • Well thanks to the incompetence my youngest believer no longer believes. Even with the dementia and “she’s just really busy” excuse he just knew something wasn’t right. Sigh, oh well I guess it could be worse. At least they are fed, clothed and happy…most of the time 🙂
      Beth

  6. So far we’re 2-2. Actually, I should admit, I’m 1-2 and Hubs is the other. Together we make it happen. But before I get too big of a head, I should admit that I’m considering recycling my son’s $5 bill for his next lost tooth – I mean, it’s just sitting there by the toaster, ripe for the pickin’. Or, recycling. He won’t know the difference, and neither will my (husband’s) wallet.

    • 2-2? Can we borrow you guys?

      Both the hubs and I are incompetent. We look at each other wearing the open eyed-open mouth realization of failure in the morning as the youngest wails “My tooth is still here!!”

      I’d totally recycle! I’ve done it before many, many times and they never knew the difference. They were just SO HAPPY to see the tooth gone!
      Beth

  7. My tooth fairy gave me a quarter right on time. My son’s tooth fairy realized on Christmas Eve that she had yet to pay him for any of his lost teeth, so I let her buy a gift off me and give it to him. It was much easier for her than remembering to visit at night, so I believe that will be how the fairy works in our house from now on.

    • Now that’s a nice idea. I may have to resort to something like that…although, our youngest no longer believes thanks to our continued incompetence! The excuses only held him for so long until he knew something wasn’t quite right in tooth fairy world. Busted.
      Beth

  8. This is too funny! I was always a bit creeped out about the tooth fairy coming into my room while I was sleeping..

  9. “Dementia”…I never thought of that excuse! I always just said she forgot…

    Fun post, Beth!

    Wendy

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