Life, identity theft and time alterations

I was on the computer checking the grades, homework, schedule etc. when Mr. Pavlov peered over my shoulder with eyebrows raised.  After seeing what was on the screen he said with disappointment,

“Oh, I thought you were writing something for your blog.  You know, you haven’t done a blog post in a while!”

Life happens and before you know it the house is a mess, humans are professing starvation and muscle wasting, and (now that we have a pack) the dogs are resorting to the nature of their ancestor wolves.

It is nuts here!  Literally, nuts and blogging has taken a seat in the way back of my Semi-truck.  Tick toc goes the clock and that monster isn’t kind nor does it allow any grace.  Those seconds, minutes and hours keep on moving no matter how much I kick and scream or pretend that I am Joshua.  Yes, I’ve even resorted to mild identity theft by claiming that I am Joshua of the Bible (Joshua 10:1-15) in the midst of a modern-day, domestic battle but it didn’t produce the time advantage that I was going for.  The sun kept moving.  God seemed to know that even though my life is at times, a battlefield, I am not Joshua and we are not fighting Amorites (although my kids do a spot on impression!)

Time is a powerful thing.  It ages us, and for 40+ women, this is something we’d like to slow down.  It ages our kids.  Overnight.  Just yesterday, I know my kids were in diapers and finger painting with their poo (only one created such a masterpiece all over my walls – you guess which one).  And now they are in various stages of reaching adulthood.  Uno forcefully informed us “I’m ALMOST 15!!!” when she thought a decision we made (as to whether she got to go out and experience the dark side) was too restrictive.  Almost 15!!!  Where did that time go?  And why can’t I remember it all?

My Mom told me when I was cowlick deep in bottles, diapers and sleepless nights to “enjoy this time because it goes by too quickly.”  At the time I thought she was a sick and insensitive creature who was teetering on calculated psychosis (sleep deprivation alters your perception) spouting off words that were easy for her rested cells to say.  But after I had a few hours of sleep and ceased to reek of breast milk, I knew she was onto something and I was the psychotic one.

So fast forward some 15 years and now I’m off to make my family millions as I discover a way to slow time down…when and ONLY WHEN desired.  Hmmm, and while I’m at it, I think I’ll also work on speeding it up during the awkward or uncomfortable moments in life (all the women holla Gyne exam and yes men, I got your fisted prostate exam covered too.)

Enjoy this time – all of it – while you can because it goes by too quickly (or it will once I patent my invention!)


9 responses to “Life, identity theft and time alterations

  1. Such true words my friend and you said them well. I always took time for the enjoyment of my children (as you do), and I never had regrets looking back. Even know, when my grandkids come, I drop everything and between my grandkids and my blog, pretty much everything has dropped! I used to be a neatnik after I became an empty-nester, but not any more. I used to be toned and fit, but not anymore. I used to be less busy, but not any more. Ode to the next stage of life … that you dear Beth will all too soon be at yourself. Stay smilin’! Love, Mary

    • I heard one Pastor mention that he never heard anyone say on their death bed “I wish I worked more, cleaned more, etc.” This is the time we will never get back so I try to keep the messy chaos in perspective and have fun! No regrets is right!!

  2. Amen…my boys are 16 and 20…my stepson is 30…where the heck did THAT time go…I will invest in the time slowing machine if you need me 🙂

  3. Oh the whole “time flies, so cherish these moments” advice is probably the TRUEST statement ever made and yet.

    Impossible to do.

    When we are in the thick of it (p.s. I love the phrase cowlick deep) it’s about survival (ours and theirs); getting through the drag of minutes and hours and days.

    Then the years are gone.

    I think you’re doing the right thing by letting the blog take a backseat when it needs to.

    Better yet, I know you are.

    We (who are still so young, right?) have the rest of our lives for such pursuits and finite time home with the little ones we love.

    Well played, my friend. Well played.

  4. Man, do I hear you on this one! Another investor here too if you can give me a couple of extra hours in the day or reduce the speed of aging! 🙂

  5. Pingback: Juggling Work and Home | Love versus Goliath : A Partner Visa Journey

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