Category Archives: Their stories

Be careful where you place your fingers.

Adorable = flying under the radar
I’m in the middle of dinner.  Up to my wrists in cooking stuff.  Pots, pans, flames, bowls, meat, knives…totally involved and totally distracted. 
 
Enter my youngest with sweet innocence: “Mom what does a contact lens feel like?” 
 
Flicker of a red flag.  Mentally noting the fact that his sister has a sample pair of colored contacts in the bathroom that she occasionally uses for fun.
 
I pause to assess the situation while wiping my forehead with my forearm.  Hmmm, his face looks innocently curious enough.  I proceed to explain the texture and feel of a contact should someone touch one.  Then ask if he perhaps….touched one.  No, of course not.  Silly me.
 
He exits the room only to return a few seconds later with this question “uh, mom?  What would happen if I did touch one?”
 
Red flag.  Red flag – more than a flicker.  Navigating a pot of boiling water from the stove to the sink  I, of course, use this opportunity to educate him on the over-the-top dangerous occurrence of eye infections, blindness and the like from unsanitary contact conditions like, oh say…dirty hand germs polluting the saline bath water that houses the contacts.  I really laid it on thick given that I had more than a flicker red flag suspicion of where his little hands had been.  He stood frozen and opened mouthed.  His siblings suspiciously echoed  “Did you touch them?!”  NO, of course he didn’t.  Silly them.
 
He left then returned seconds later “Uh mom? How will you know if someone actually has an eye infection and what will happen to them again?” 
 
Red flag.  Red flag.  Siren quality RED FLAG!  Everything and everyone immediately and simultaneously stopped.  All eyes were 100%, totally, without a doubt focused on him.  We bore into him with squinted eyes and raised eyebrows until he belted out a tearful  “Ok, OK I did touch them.  I did!!!”  The wails were so pitiful and deeply heartfelt, considering that he almost blinded someone, that his older sister had a difficult time remaining angry with him.  She let him stew in his emotion while I did the parent thing and dealt with the lie.
 
The tainted contacts were quickly cleaned, an eye crisis was adverted and someone learned a valuable lesson….be careful where you place your fingers!

The light up night that almost was

Light up night, oh light up night.  We came so close to seeing you on this unusually warm November evening.  I busted out the hat and camera and was all set to capture some photographic beauty.  But something went awry.  Let me give you a hint.

“This car is too small! Can’t we take two cars?! We are packed in here! I hate this car!! He’s touching me! He’s fat!  Retard!! I want to take two cars!! I can’t buckle up in this car.  We’re crunched back here.  This is terrible.  You stink! I smell like freakin’ gas!!! Move over! It’s no fair we’re squashed!”

The hubs and I gave several warnings of a potential turn around.  These warnings went unheeded as the attitudes and verbal complaints continued.  Then I heard the exasperated words “That’s it, I’m done.  We’re going home!” as the hubs turned the car around.  Our cramped 5 seater vehicle carrying the loud wails of protest  was headed toward home. 

Sometimes you just gotta do what you threaten!

All on the Fourth of July

What did you all do on this independance weekend?  We enjoyed our freedom and did a little of this….

Festival time in the heat of the day 
 
                                                                                                                                                                                                        
 
Where we stopped to smell the finer things in life….                                                                                                                                                                   
 
…and appreciate the talent of others                                                                                                                                                                                                     
 
Holding on to those we love….        
 
                                                                                                                                                                                                            
…as we weave through life                                                                                                                                                                                                                             
 
taking time out to slow down…                                                                                                                                                                                                                 
 
 
…and cool off                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           
 
 
spending time with the wise, who have been married for 60+ years and are still laughing – there’s hope for us all!!                
 
 
and those faithful non-humans among us who happened to get attacked by a savage beast (another dog) – note the oozing puncture wounds                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                
 
 
ahhh, the smell of children running around with hot dogs.  It almost makes me forget the pain and trauma of the attack but shhh don’t tell anyone that I already ate more than I should’ve cuz I’m milking this for all it’s worth!!                                                                              
Learning from the canine and focusing on the pleasant memories like hot dogs!  Happy Fourth of July everyone!!! 

Implementing plan B on a beautiful day

The sun is in full blast.  The humidity is zilch (a rare occasion).  There is a nice breeze blowing.  Ahhh, it is a GORGEOUS day and I have all these plans that I’d like to do with the kids but, sigh, I am confined to my home.  You see, our A/C is on the blitz (again) and we have a repair appt. scheduled for the ridiculous FIVE (count ’em 1-2-3-4-5!) window of 8a-1p.  I was up bright and early in the hopes that the repair men would be a’knockin on my door at 8a sharp.  But BECAUSE I was up so early they chose not to come.  However, if I decided to sleep in then I guarantee you they would be on my door step at 7:45am wearing big smiles and I would have been forced to greet them with bed head, stinky breath and garbed in my PJ’s.  Isn’t that the way it always is????  Why???

But then I remembered that we had this guy…..

And my son did the honors of hooking him up…..

His younger brother was all excited – whining, begging and barking out orders for him to hurry so they could play in the h2o.  He wore his butt scratching pose which he does when he is in full command mode…..

C’mon hurry.  Pull it up more.  Move it over. A little more.  Faster!  You’re taking too long!

By the way he was issuing commands I though for sure he would be diving right in.  But then I noticed something…..he moved AWAY from the tiki man and got the “I don’t know about this” serious look on his face.

I better move back a little and give my commands from back here
 
Maybe, I really don’t want to get wet with turbo powered jet water….. 
 
His older brother was ready to rumble with the tiki and as he does with everything in life he did not hold back…..
 

This might hurt!

 

YEEEEOWWWWWW!
 
 

OOWWWOHHHH!
 
 

Time for this end!
 
 

Mama, give me a HUG!!!
 
 

HHUUUMMMMM
 

OOOWWWW! You’d think I’d learn!!
 
While my older son was in full force seeing how many of his body orifices he could shoot with high powered H2O, the youngest was still….like this….
  
I just don’t know about this……it looks painful….someone could get hurt….it might be too cold….
 
Ultimately he decided that he felt more comfortably giving the orders from a dry, safe place behind his brother…..
 

Be careful.  Maybe you can tighten the hose a little….
 
And in case you are wondering where the female child in our family was during these activities well, wonder no more….
 

Chillin’ free of boys and water….ahhh life is good to me.

According to Sam

Sam has been on a word defining kick lately so I thought I’d write a couple of them down before I forget.

Here are the definitions according to Sam:

Psychomaniac (he pronounces pyscho-mean-ee-act) – A person who is psycho, and mean, and acts out.

Hillbilly – A person who lives on a hill and is in love with billy goats so they have a lot of them.

Killer  (he pronounces kill-her)- A person who kills mostly girls.

Makeup – when a girl puts stuff on her face and says “I’m sorry.”

These were just too cute to forget.  I’ll add more as he continues to define his world.

Roar!

And I thought I had bad hair days…whew, man somebody help this guy! The next time I begin to think about my hair and any thoughts of chopping it off, this image will immediately jump out in my mind.  No doubt causing roars of amusement. 

All the stress of the day has melted away in my laughter.  Thanks Donald, at least that hair is good for something.

donald

Meow!

Never Say Never!

Why?  Because the moment you utter the “never” word is the moment (or expect it to happen in the future) you will be doing the very thing you claimed you would never, ever be doing.  Some previous spoken nevers in my life that turned out to be, well, not so never:

  1. Never live in the East
  2. Never leave the city
  3. Never eat gross, unidentified food (thanks hubs for making this never happen!)
  4. Never leave the ICU (spoken in my younger, thrill seeking days)
  5. Never wipe poopy butts especially NOT adult butts (wiped enough to open a sanitation business)
  6. Never watch baseball again after Sid Bream took the win for the Braves in 1992 when they vs. the Pirates
  7. Never own a minivan
  8. Never not own a minivan – I MISS my mini van.  Sad face.
  9. Never have my sleep interrupted by a dog
  10. Never go to graduate school
  11. Never get out of shape again
  12. Never break no wheat/gluten diet
  13. Never get another dog
  14. Never get a facial piercing
  15. Never bite my nails
  16. Never speak willingly (i.e. not mandated for a grade) in public
  17. Never wear ugly clothes
  18. Never be late
  19. Never laugh at someone
  20. Never watch a soap opera
  21. Never say “never”

 Some nevers are a part of our core values and we hold onto them.  Others are beyond our control.  Things happen that change and influence the reality of our lives.  New information.  Exhaustion. Life experiences.  Persuasion.   Beware:  I “will never” can come back to haunt you.