Tag Archives: Absolut

Absoult pertinent facts

My darling husband came home a few days ago and informed me he had just learned of a treatment that would, without a doubt, cure and prevent strep.  Now this piece of info comes about, ohhhh, 16 days and a complete course of antibiotics for myself and three kids too late!  But hey, I was game for new-found knowledge so I replied “Oh yeah, what?”  Smiling, he unveiled a bottle of Absolut Vodka for me to “gargle and swallow” if any future cases of strep present.  My facial grimace must have spoken volumes because he immediately began with his facts.

Facts including valuable information and I think a few statistics concerning how alcoholics never contract strep.  When I asked him how he came upon this information and cure he replied,

A friend who knows an ENT Doctor and the ENT Doctor said not one of the alcoholic patients ever gets strep.” 

It appears the key is to gargle and swallow the alcohol rather than the gargle and spit method we use with salt or other home remedies.  Mr. Pavlov is known to have a glass of vodka mixed with cranberry juice or a glass of wine before bedtime.  He is the only one in the house to escape the strep invasion and he clearly recalls that we did in fact exchange some saliva before I knew that I was throat breeding strep.  He thought this fact was pertinent.

I really hope that the horrid, awful, nasty bacteria stays away from our abode however, should the need arise I will gargle and swallow a large glass little Absolut or Belvedere. Straight.

Just don’t ask me to walk a straight line or recall pertinent facts.