I love to eat. Eating is my passion and favorite pastime. When I am in consumption mode (especially with foods that I particularly love) everything else becomes a blur which is why I was not on my A game this particular Friday night.
Late Friday (early Saturday AM) Mr. Pavlov and I took the kids to Eat-n-Park after attending a meeting. They were claiming starvation and muscle wasting and it would be inhumane to deprive them of a meal – i.e. MY stomach was rumbling.
Tres, who was barely awake to begin with but didn’t want to miss out on anything, fell asleep promptly after placing his cheeseburger and fries order. He conveniently sprawled out across the oversized booth and utilized my lap as his personal pillow.
Our order arrived just in time because we were all about to join Tres and go horizontal. The deep-fried onion rings were serenading me and I entered my food induced state of oblivion. It was only me and the onion rings and maybe my garden burger from the moment they landed on our table. My head was in the trough and I was happy.
I didn’t notice the group of young males stalking our table. I was blissfully unaware of the frequent pass bys and testosterone filled grunts. I had my onion rings. I was complete.
My beautiful daughter jolted me to her reality with this statement,
“Mom, that table of guys over there keeps staring this way and pointing.”
Then Mr. Pavlov, who was seated right next to her (we had a LARGE booth and he was in the middle of Uno and Dos) replied,
“The one keeps walking by like he stole something!”
Dos, also in awareness mode added,
“Yea, he seems twitchy!”
With fried onion ring crumbs hanging from my mouth I replied,
“Are they staring at you and walking by to see you?”
Smiling, she glanced over her right shoulder to where an ancient couple was sitting dutifully cutting each other’s blueberry pancakes and replied “W e l l……”
Wow. How did I miss this? I am always on it and my guydar remains in a constant and finely tuned state. My daughter is a cutie and boys know it! But before I could wipe away the onion ring crumbs from my mouth and ponder my failure we received visitors….
Two “scruffies” as Dos called them interrupted
my our feeding frenzy. Clearing their throats they ventured:
“Excuse me….uh, er, well my friend over there…the one in the corner…well, ah, he wants us to give you this (handing my beautiful baby a folded piece of white paper). He thinks you’re, um, cute. It’s his…ah, number and um, well, he wants you to call him.”
The beauty, Uno, smiled and said one simple word…O K A Y. Mr. Pavlov glared and echoed Uno’s OKAY only in a much more menacing tone. I finally wiped away my crumb residue and entered the here and now as I watched them walk away giving each other high fives and fist pumping the air. The “Corner Guy” remained standing in the corner
stalking observing Uno and her response. I believed it was the intimidating glares and peacock posturing of Mr. Pavlov that drove him from the corner and sent him back to his seat with his friends until…..
….we were getting ready to leave when the brazen little punk decided to approach our table himself! With Mr. Pavlov standing and peacock posturing beside him, he apologized for the behavior of his friends and in front of her entire family, asked our beauty to call him. Mr. Pavlov gave a nod, the type of nod that says “Boy, you better move while you have the chance” and said,
Corner guy finally retreated without the committment from Uno he wanted. I guess I was somewhat high on my recent ingestion and wasn’t thinking clearly. Feeling all warm and fuzzy from the fried food I heard myself call after him,
“You have good taste!”
Uno chuckled and replied,
“Good one Mom, but at least you didn’t threaten him with statutory rape this time!“
Now that I am clear in the head and have given the scenario some thought I must ask, can you believe the boldness? Maybe I am old school but boys would never approach a young girl in the presence of her family especially with her father seated right beside her. Am I old school? Is this the progressive style of the youth today? I don’t like it. Do you?
The youth of today are bold and daring. I think the genetically altered, steroid laced food we consume has pumped them up and left them…
…teetering the crazy line!