Tag Archives: entertainment

Naked and [not] afraid

“We didn’t like the way your mammogram looked. You need to come back for more imaging.”

Any woman who has ever received a call like this knows the dread that creeps into your soul. And those of us with dense breasts are more likely to get these calls.

The tech was sweet. She tried to be nonchalant but as soon as she zeroed in on one area of my breast rather than a general exploration, I knew they saw something and were on a search and discovery mission.

“But I have dense breasts. It’s nothing.” I told myself as I lay calmly. After forever of Ultrasound probing, she smiled and said she had to check images with the radiologist. A few minutes later she came back and went to town again in the target area getting more pictures. She left me once again to confer with the radiologist. And this time it seemed like forever.

Thoughts started to creep their way into my mind. “What if it is something?” I had already had biopsies in the past and know that drill and the waiting process involved. But before I could feed that fear the radiologist herself came into the room and I know enough to KNOW that something was up. She smiled and said she wanted to get the images herself and took over the Ultrasound probing of my boob. She left me alone while she went to confer with a colleague.

I was alone. For a long time. Waiting. And you know that fear that I didn’t get a chance to feed? Well it came back hungry for my thoughts. I began to think about my beautiful Mom and her battle with breast cancer. All of the images of her last days flooded my mind. I started to think about my kids and what they would have to go through. I felt my heart race, my breathing quickened and tears began to form in my eyes. Then it the midst of that torment I felt a calming peace flood my being. I smiled because I knew what was happening. Absolutely nothing.

I was feeling fear but had nothing to fear. It was all “What ifs” Simply put, fear is nothing more than Faith in the wrong kingdom.

The door opened and in walked the tech sans radiologist and informed me the radiologist(s) wanted to get a 3D frontal mammogram. I know the drill. I quickly assumed the position and up on the slab went my boob.Then I sat alone again and waited, refusing to think of anything other than the gazillion things I had to do once I got home.

Door opened and in hurried the tech who now informed me the radiologist wanted her to examine my breast. Seriously? This was a new level of service. I mean my OBGYNE regularly feels me up but a radiology tech? Brand new experience!

So I flashed her the goods and she began to position me and look for any irregularities while she yelled down the hall to the two radiologists in the viewing room viewing my films “No, everything looks good. I don’t see any dimpling or puckering or…well, it looks perfect.” I smiled proudly as I repeated “My boob is absolutely perfect.”

Still wearing the goofy perfect boob smile, I noticed the radiologist walking down the hall toward my room. She looked concerned and puzzled. Very puzzled. She proceeded to inform me that they could identify the dense tissue and where it had been biopsied before but there was an area of tunneling that they couldn’t figure out.

I echoed her word “tunneling?” Then added “As in something a nipple piercing could cause?” She nodded and replied, “Yes but we checked and you don’t have your nipples pierced.” A big, huge, perma-smile of extreme relief spread across my face and I informed her that I did BUT TOOK THEM OUT FOR THE PROCEDURE!!!!! (Because who wants to have their boob smashed while wearing metal jewelry?) She looked mortified and then relieved as she nodded and clapped her hands together. “That’s it! That explains it!!” She yelled. And the boob-probing-feeling-up-3D-mammogram-radiology-tech let out a “Oh Thank God!”

Yes, thank-you God. See, if you allow fear to have power over your mind and thoughts a simple, stupid piercing quickly becomes cancer and the belief is enforced by the actions of medical personnel and the mental and physical torment snowballs from there.

We always have a choice. Our thoughts and our actions are ours. We control them. I choose positivity and faith even though I was tempted to give the radiologist a smack down for making assumptions and not taking a better history but….positivity remember?

And again, fear is Faith in the wrong kingdom. Empower Faith, not fear.

And if all else fails, get naked

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Eye candy, alien guts and radioactive wallpaper: I want my kid’s life

My kids have it made.  I want their life.

When I grew up shopping consisted of a ONCE a year experience for the solo purpose of obtaining back to school clothes.  During this process, I had to painfully choose from several “I just can’t live without” outfits and quickly discovered that life continued with or without the cool color stripe on the side of the designer jeans.  I left the store with enough clothes to cover the important parts but not enough to prevent the dread of wearing the same outfit twice in the same week.

Fast forward to 2011 and let me introduce you to my daughter, who is able to shop like a politician is able to lie….easily!  Whenever the shopping mood strikes (and usually after she’s saved up her allowance) we are off to the local mall.  She leaves the stores looking something like this:

Sephora, an American Eagle bag so full the bottom is about to break.....

and on the back….

....a little eye candy and Abercrombie

When I grew up entertainment consisted of….well, this:

A game of cards and poker chips!

And hours and hours of outdoor play.  We were quite skilled in the art of mud-pie making and creating jewerly masterpieces with the butts of lightening bugs.  Lightening bug jewelery was especially a hit with the boys who got to gut the bugs without us girls stopping them.  It was all about the bling – even back then because bling is timeless.  We never uttered the words “I’m BOORRED!” nor expected our parents or things to entertain us.  We were the creative captains of our own entertainment and yes,  a few lightening bugs died in the process.

My oldest son would never think of gutting a lightning bug and smearing the bling around the wrist of a female friend.  Instead he guts aliens sans the gut smearing.  He has his own creative captain area good for hours of brain numbing entertainment.  Because we love him and desire to salvage some brain cells, Mr. Pavlov and I have conveniently placed a pre-set timer with a LOUD alarm to signal an end to the cerebral damage.  It’s the least we could do.

His creative mess: Captain chair, Xbox 360, Xbox, Wii and a small, little timer to limit the brain damage

And he is never short on options…..

ONE of the many drawers of choices

He just informed us that he has saved enough money for a 36″ flat screen TV to complete the entertainment paradise.

And speaking of saving money….if you have followed my Facebook and twitter updates then you are already aware that my “baby” saved for several years to dump it on this beauty:

ipad2 with beautiful (ahem, me) wallpaper

I know he finds great joy in transforming me into a radioactive beast with weird eyes however,  the next time he has a buldging bank account and the spending itch, I think I’ll work my mad mothering skills to convince him that a trip to the Spa would produce better results!  After seeing me in an avocado mask with cucumber slices for my eyes, I’m sure he’ll agree.

Yes, my kids have it made.  If, in their adulthood, they should blog about the difficulties and deprivation of their childhood then I will shove this post under their noses to effectively correct any misconceptions.

Did I mention that computers and blogs were non-existent when I was growing up?