I walked into my local grocery store today and guess what? The price of food has gone up…AGAIN. All food. Even the cheap, processed, fake junk is on the rise. Speaking of fake, processed…I never understood why grocery store meat contained the little caption “caramel coloring added.” Caramel coloring? Meat has color to begin with so why the need for added coloring? WELL, I recently discovered that meat will naturally turn grey as it sits on the shelf. Yes, I don’t eat much meat and I have limited exposure to the stuff. I was BFs with meat until my younger brother went on a vegetarian kick that turned into a life style when he was a teen. He took it upon himself to rescue his carnivorous family from our evil ways. This salvation consisted of him shouting unpleasant stuff like “That’s gonna rot in your gut for months!” with each meat laden fork-full we tried to enjoy. If the above approach failed then he was thoughtful enough to provide us with a never-ending supply of putrid meat articles (conveniently placed at our meat fest place settings). Before I knew it, I began to think animal flesh was rather gross and fiber became my new BFF. Sigh, he had me at gut rotting.
….Grey meat. Grey is a good thing. Grey is our body’s friend. We shoppers don’t like to see grey meat because it looks old and gross so enter our little friends caramel coloring and sodium nitrate. Caramel keeps the meat looking pretty while we cook it and sodium nitrate allows it to remain the cancer causing neon red color for months of shelf-life.
You can buy nitrate free lunch meat for a body part OR just tell your family the stuff is evil and move on. If they fight you just show them this:
Today, during a moment sale price enticement, I bought 4#s of evil for the kid’s lunches. I also bought a grand daddy size of Benefiber. I’m thinking if I dose enough in their food they will blow a load before the wickedness is actually absorbed. I like my delusions and I like Benefiber.
To make me feel like a better mom and smooth my 4# guilt, I raided the fruit and leafy greens isle. The clementines that my family loves to devour are now priced $1 more per box. Fresh fruit and veggies are nearing organ and body fluid donation prices. I’m partial to having two kidneys even though science informs me I can survive on one. Maybe Mr. Pavlov can take one for the team and donate some of his boys. He loves to boast of their swimming ability and should get a respectable price = lots of fruit for the donation. Hmmmm…..that gives a whole new concept to “…fruit of thy loins…”
We want to eat healthy and we are making better choices but these prices aren’t making it easy for us. And two of my three bambinos are professional eating machines. Puberty, hormones, and growth spurts are causing raging appetites and with them, food bills.
How do you guys manage?
From bogus meat to price gouging…it’s all ugly to me.