Tag Archives: grocery

A whole lot’a ugly!

I walked into my local grocery store today and guess what? The price of food has gone up…AGAIN.  All food.  Even the cheap, processed, fake junk is on the rise.  Speaking of fake, processed…I never understood why grocery store meat contained the little caption “caramel coloring added.”  Caramel coloring?  Meat has color to begin with so why the need for added coloring?  WELL, I recently discovered that meat will naturally turn grey as it sits on the shelf.  Yes, I don’t eat much meat and I have limited exposure to the stuff. I was BFs with meat until my younger brother went on a vegetarian kick that turned into a life style when he was a teen.  He took it upon himself to rescue his carnivorous family from our evil ways.  This salvation consisted of him shouting unpleasant stuff  like “That’s gonna rot in your gut for months!” with each meat laden fork-full we tried to enjoy.  If the above approach failed then he was thoughtful enough to provide us with a never-ending supply of putrid meat articles (conveniently placed at our meat fest place settings).  Before I knew it, I began to think animal flesh was rather gross and fiber became my new BFF. Sigh, he had me at gut rotting.  

….Grey meat.  Grey is a good thing.  Grey is our body’s friend.  We shoppers don’t like to see grey meat because it looks old and gross so enter our little friends caramel coloring and sodium nitrate.  Caramel keeps the meat looking pretty while we cook it and sodium nitrate allows it to remain the cancer causing neon red color for months of shelf-life. 

Disturbing. 

You can buy nitrate free lunch meat for a body part OR just tell your family the stuff is evil and move on. If they fight you just show them this:

Today, during a moment sale price enticement, I bought 4#s of evil for the kid’s lunches.  I also bought a grand daddy size of Benefiber.  I’m thinking if I dose enough in their food they will blow a load before the wickedness is actually absorbed.  I like my delusions and I like Benefiber.

To make me feel like a better mom and smooth my 4# guilt, I raided the fruit and leafy greens isle. The clementines that my family loves to devour are now priced $1 more per box.  Fresh fruit and veggies are nearing organ and body fluid donation prices. I’m partial to having two kidneys even though science informs me I can survive on one.  Maybe Mr. Pavlov can take one for the team and donate some of his boys.  He loves to boast of their swimming ability and should get a respectable price = lots of fruit for the donation.  Hmmmm…..that gives a whole new concept to “…fruit of thy loins…”

We want to eat healthy and we are making better choices but these prices aren’t making it easy for us.  And two of my three bambinos are professional eating machines.  Puberty, hormones, and growth spurts are causing raging appetites and with them, food bills.

How do you guys manage? 

From bogus meat to price gouging…it’s all ugly to me.

It’s a blur but I’m sane

Everyone was in bed.  The house was quiet.  I was semi-alone and I loved it.  But rather than exercise my brain or do something productive like laundry, I plopped myself down on the couch.  The couch is in front of the TV.  The remote lives on the couch and before I knew it, the remote was in my hand and I was existing in the time sucking world of TV where seconds magically morph into hours.   This is a dangerous place late at night especially with the DVR full of unwatched shows.

I am not a big TV viewer like my male counterpart but I do like my brain candy.  I was all prepared to have my eyes glaze over, my mouth relax in the open position and veg on some brain candy when I stumbled upon something. 

TLC….TLC Extreme Couponing episode.  I had never watched this show before but I was suddenly curious.  Coupons seem like a waste of precious time and chasing deals  that are over priced, filled with restrictions and basically non-existent.  And then there is always the cashier lady to deal with.  Usually old and irritable, she inspects each coupon thoroughly looking for any defect so she can rasp “this is NO good!” But by watching these individuals get incredible savings I became inspired. 

Inspired by the deals not the psychosis that some of the individuals displayed!  Have you watched that episode?  Toilet paper was described by one of the coupon clippers as “My pride and joy!”  [someone requires intervention time

Let’s face it, some of those people need HELP…the institutional kind with pharmaceutical therapy, group time and professionals in long white coats writing frantically on clipboards.

So while I have no intention of going off the psychological deep end, I will devote some time to clipping coupons.  I have already started and it is surprisingly challenging.  My head is spinning and I have a gazillion flyers and coupons scattered all over the place.   I even key-napped my husband’s car keys to load him up with the recent reward cards obtained from the various stores.  So when you see the bulge in his pocket, don’t comment.  Resist the “Are you happy to see me or is that....” remark please.  Look away!

The stuff deals are made of

 

So send me some love and let me know the inside tips.  What has worked for you?  How do you survive the world of coupons.  Holla to Carrie who has already helped me a lot!!