Tag Archives: money

“I’m not perfect but pretty darn close”

I was coming out of the store cult of all store cults [Wal-Mart] a few days ago and got to witness an explosive argument between a man and woman.  This particular day I was in a “I have time to stop and get high on the flowers” frame of mind.  Most of my days are the mission impossible types where you could be spontaneously combusting beside me and I wouldn’t stop.

I slowed my rapid pace to a crawl and tuned into parking lot brawl fest 101.1  From what I could gather from the lung rage, the woman was at fault.  Apparently she made an irresponsible budget error that was going to cost the couple dearly.  She attempted to “sneak” objects into the cart without her partner finding out.  

Hello, woman?  Unless you are planning a ‘Thomas Crown Affair’ you’re supposed to do this when he isn’t around or NOT at all! 

Once busted she became very belligerent and defensive.  At one point she bellowed “I’m not perfect but pretty darn close!!!”  I believe it was this comment that sent the slippers sailing to Kansas.

I thought about suggesting a rapid return of merchandise but then decided against it once I saw the emotional escalation and astral projection of goods.  The words “wrong place, wrong time” rang in my head as I visualized both spaziods transferring their anger upon me….and it didn’t seem like a party I wanted to attend.  So, I did the self-preservation thing and continued with the auditory stalking.

Conveniently I parked close to the kill zone and they were screaming so I didn’t have to listen too intently.  I got to witness pretty much the entire event play out and not only managed to maintain a heart beat, but also gathered an important piece of data. 

Two words and only two words should have been spoken by the woman when her husband caught her in an intentional act of irresponsibility.  These words are difficult to speak and often involve a huge digestion of pride.  However, like an entire bomb squad these two little words have the ability to diffuse a verbal nuclear Holocaust. 

They are…….

I’M SORRY. 

Note:  I also find “yes, I was wrong” moves mountains as well and when combined  with behavior modification produces miraculous effects.  

I guess they could be considered three words without the contraction form.  These little words are powerful and produce dramatic results.  When spoken in sincerity, they make us own our actions.  They cause us to accept responsibility.  And rather than hours of heated warfare, a disagreement is often reduced to minutes if one party is willing to utter “I’m sorry.”  Yes, the other party may continue to rant and may attempt to get on a little rage but they can only fuel the fire solo for a limited time before the sincere  “I’m sorry” kills the action.

What a novel idea huh?  I’m sorry, I’m not perfect but pretty darn close!

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It’s a blur but I’m sane

Everyone was in bed.  The house was quiet.  I was semi-alone and I loved it.  But rather than exercise my brain or do something productive like laundry, I plopped myself down on the couch.  The couch is in front of the TV.  The remote lives on the couch and before I knew it, the remote was in my hand and I was existing in the time sucking world of TV where seconds magically morph into hours.   This is a dangerous place late at night especially with the DVR full of unwatched shows.

I am not a big TV viewer like my male counterpart but I do like my brain candy.  I was all prepared to have my eyes glaze over, my mouth relax in the open position and veg on some brain candy when I stumbled upon something. 

TLC….TLC Extreme Couponing episode.  I had never watched this show before but I was suddenly curious.  Coupons seem like a waste of precious time and chasing deals  that are over priced, filled with restrictions and basically non-existent.  And then there is always the cashier lady to deal with.  Usually old and irritable, she inspects each coupon thoroughly looking for any defect so she can rasp “this is NO good!” But by watching these individuals get incredible savings I became inspired. 

Inspired by the deals not the psychosis that some of the individuals displayed!  Have you watched that episode?  Toilet paper was described by one of the coupon clippers as “My pride and joy!”  [someone requires intervention time

Let’s face it, some of those people need HELP…the institutional kind with pharmaceutical therapy, group time and professionals in long white coats writing frantically on clipboards.

So while I have no intention of going off the psychological deep end, I will devote some time to clipping coupons.  I have already started and it is surprisingly challenging.  My head is spinning and I have a gazillion flyers and coupons scattered all over the place.   I even key-napped my husband’s car keys to load him up with the recent reward cards obtained from the various stores.  So when you see the bulge in his pocket, don’t comment.  Resist the “Are you happy to see me or is that....” remark please.  Look away!

The stuff deals are made of

 

So send me some love and let me know the inside tips.  What has worked for you?  How do you survive the world of coupons.  Holla to Carrie who has already helped me a lot!!