Tag Archives: random

A Chad, a cog or just happy to be in the alphabet somewhere?

Chad, cog or somewhere in the alphabet?

I was talking to a friend yesterday who mentioned some frustrations he was experiencing at work. After listening to him I replied, “Chad, cog or somewhere in the alphabet?!?”

He knows the analogy I was referring to so he smiled. Let me share with you.

It’s well known that I work in the medical field. In traditional medicine, physicians hold most of the influence and power to achieve change. Although, with the direction health care is moving in, the influence the physicians hold is becoming less (thanks to big business mindset and insurance companies).

So while I write this from a physician/mid level/patient relationship know that it can be applied to any professional or life situation.

There’s this orthopedic surgeon who is one of the absolute best in his field. He routinely takes on the impossibly difficult cases with great success. He has a physician assistant named Chad who is his clinical right hand (trying really hard to prevent sexual innuendos but this paragraph will be challenging), his partner, his go to. They are a dream team and flow effortlessly together. And as a patient you know this because not only do you observe how well they work together, but surgeon boss man informs you that you will see him initially, during surgery and then from that moment forward you will see Chad. In laying down the law or ground rules you quickly realize he values Chad. He respects Chad. And ultimately he trusts Chad. Therefore, so do you. Chad shows up every single day and kills it. Well hopefully not actually KILLS IT but he delivers! Surgeon boss man has switched hospitals multiple times and he always negotiates Chad in his deals. He has Chad’s back and Chad has his. They are a unit and it is undeniable. No doubt this professional relationship took time and work and patience.

A cog. We all know them. Maybe we are them. They show up. They work (or attempt to.) They do what needs done to keep things functioning but don’t go above or beyond the bare requirements. Basically they are just filling in the gaps to keep the machine running….a cog in the big corporate wheel. Their place could be filled by anyone and quickly will after they leave.

Somewhere in the alphabet. These people have given up on any professional excellence and count down the days to payday and ultimately retirement.

A Chad, a cog or just happy to be in the alphabet somewhere?

Life: It’s your story to write. Who do you want to be? And how do you want to be remembered?

 

Being a Chad in Aesthetic Medicine

 

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Thinking not sleeping

Its after 3am and here I sit.  Awake.  Wide awake.  Why?  Because my mind won’t shut off.  I think, therefore I am awake.

I’m thinking about my Mom and how much I miss her. It’s been a year since she’s been gone and it still doesn’t seem real. I dreamt about her while I crash napped after work today.  In my dream she was praying for me…and I believe she actually was.

I’m thinking about my job, some choices I have to make and wondering how these choices will impact my future and where said future will take me.

I’m thinking I really wish my Mom was here so I could talk to her about everything and absolutely nothing at the same time. And call her a gazillion times a day because I remembered something or forgot to tell her something or needed to ask her something…a gazillion times just because I could.

I’m thinking about my daughter in college and the amount of debt she’s accruing [more than the cost of our suburbia home] without a making-money-right-out-of-school major and the fact that yours truly co-signed those loans taking on financial responsibility should she fail to pay is more sickening than her threats to find a sugar daddy.  {sorta}

I’m thinking at 46yrs old how much I STILL need my Mom.  Every. Single. Day.  More emotionally than anything else but…I mean I recently had the flu and I kept wishing my Mom was there to hold back my Rapunzel mane while I blew chunks.   While Mr. Pavlov means well, I find his his “you okay?” (as I’m the reincarnation of a geyser in human form) lacking.  And the kids? You can fill in that mental picture on your own but let’s just say it involves verbal groans of disgust and rapid departure from the scene.

I’m thinking how some people really suck and I would love to trip them while they walk and then, out of nowhere I’m getting the warm and fuzzies for all of the truly good and wonderful people in my life. (Imma stay right here on the warm and fuzzies for a minute.)

I’m thinking if my Mom was still her I could call her right now…and guaranteed she would be awake!

I’m thinking I’m going to be thinking for the rest of the night.

One thing I do know for sure.  I miss my Mom and this hurt is not going to stop anytime soon, if ever.

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Girl Trip North Carolina before she was diagnosed 

 

 

 

Naked and [not] afraid

“We didn’t like the way your mammogram looked. You need to come back for more imaging.”

Any woman who has ever received a call like this knows the dread that creeps into your soul. And those of us with dense breasts are more likely to get these calls.

The tech was sweet. She tried to be nonchalant but as soon as she zeroed in on one area of my breast rather than a general exploration, I knew they saw something and were on a search and discovery mission.

“But I have dense breasts. It’s nothing.” I told myself as I lay calmly. After forever of Ultrasound probing, she smiled and said she had to check images with the radiologist. A few minutes later she came back and went to town again in the target area getting more pictures. She left me once again to confer with the radiologist. And this time it seemed like forever.

Thoughts started to creep their way into my mind. “What if it is something?” I had already had biopsies in the past and know that drill and the waiting process involved. But before I could feed that fear the radiologist herself came into the room and I know enough to KNOW that something was up. She smiled and said she wanted to get the images herself and took over the Ultrasound probing of my boob. She left me alone while she went to confer with a colleague.

I was alone. For a long time. Waiting. And you know that fear that I didn’t get a chance to feed? Well it came back hungry for my thoughts. I began to think about my beautiful Mom and her battle with breast cancer. All of the images of her last days flooded my mind. I started to think about my kids and what they would have to go through. I felt my heart race, my breathing quickened and tears began to form in my eyes. Then it the midst of that torment I felt a calming peace flood my being. I smiled because I knew what was happening. Absolutely nothing.

I was feeling fear but had nothing to fear. It was all “What ifs” Simply put, fear is nothing more than Faith in the wrong kingdom.

The door opened and in walked the tech sans radiologist and informed me the radiologist(s) wanted to get a 3D frontal mammogram. I know the drill. I quickly assumed the position and up on the slab went my boob.Then I sat alone again and waited, refusing to think of anything other than the gazillion things I had to do once I got home.

Door opened and in hurried the tech who now informed me the radiologist wanted her to examine my breast. Seriously? This was a new level of service. I mean my OBGYNE regularly feels me up but a radiology tech? Brand new experience!

So I flashed her the goods and she began to position me and look for any irregularities while she yelled down the hall to the two radiologists in the viewing room viewing my films “No, everything looks good. I don’t see any dimpling or puckering or…well, it looks perfect.” I smiled proudly as I repeated “My boob is absolutely perfect.”

Still wearing the goofy perfect boob smile, I noticed the radiologist walking down the hall toward my room. She looked concerned and puzzled. Very puzzled. She proceeded to inform me that they could identify the dense tissue and where it had been biopsied before but there was an area of tunneling that they couldn’t figure out.

I echoed her word “tunneling?” Then added “As in something a nipple piercing could cause?” She nodded and replied, “Yes but we checked and you don’t have your nipples pierced.” A big, huge, perma-smile of extreme relief spread across my face and I informed her that I did BUT TOOK THEM OUT FOR THE PROCEDURE!!!!! (Because who wants to have their boob smashed while wearing metal jewelry?) She looked mortified and then relieved as she nodded and clapped her hands together. “That’s it! That explains it!!” She yelled. And the boob-probing-feeling-up-3D-mammogram-radiology-tech let out a “Oh Thank God!”

Yes, thank-you God. See, if you allow fear to have power over your mind and thoughts a simple, stupid piercing quickly becomes cancer and the belief is enforced by the actions of medical personnel and the mental and physical torment snowballs from there.

We always have a choice. Our thoughts and our actions are ours. We control them. I choose positivity and faith even though I was tempted to give the radiologist a smack down for making assumptions and not taking a better history but….positivity remember?

And again, fear is Faith in the wrong kingdom. Empower Faith, not fear.

And if all else fails, get naked