Tag Archives: Schedule

“I’m not perfect but pretty darn close”

I was coming out of the store cult of all store cults [Wal-Mart] a few days ago and got to witness an explosive argument between a man and woman.  This particular day I was in a “I have time to stop and get high on the flowers” frame of mind.  Most of my days are the mission impossible types where you could be spontaneously combusting beside me and I wouldn’t stop.

I slowed my rapid pace to a crawl and tuned into parking lot brawl fest 101.1  From what I could gather from the lung rage, the woman was at fault.  Apparently she made an irresponsible budget error that was going to cost the couple dearly.  She attempted to “sneak” objects into the cart without her partner finding out.  

Hello, woman?  Unless you are planning a ‘Thomas Crown Affair’ you’re supposed to do this when he isn’t around or NOT at all! 

Once busted she became very belligerent and defensive.  At one point she bellowed “I’m not perfect but pretty darn close!!!”  I believe it was this comment that sent the slippers sailing to Kansas.

I thought about suggesting a rapid return of merchandise but then decided against it once I saw the emotional escalation and astral projection of goods.  The words “wrong place, wrong time” rang in my head as I visualized both spaziods transferring their anger upon me….and it didn’t seem like a party I wanted to attend.  So, I did the self-preservation thing and continued with the auditory stalking.

Conveniently I parked close to the kill zone and they were screaming so I didn’t have to listen too intently.  I got to witness pretty much the entire event play out and not only managed to maintain a heart beat, but also gathered an important piece of data. 

Two words and only two words should have been spoken by the woman when her husband caught her in an intentional act of irresponsibility.  These words are difficult to speak and often involve a huge digestion of pride.  However, like an entire bomb squad these two little words have the ability to diffuse a verbal nuclear Holocaust. 

They are…….


Note:  I also find “yes, I was wrong” moves mountains as well and when combined  with behavior modification produces miraculous effects.  

I guess they could be considered three words without the contraction form.  These little words are powerful and produce dramatic results.  When spoken in sincerity, they make us own our actions.  They cause us to accept responsibility.  And rather than hours of heated warfare, a disagreement is often reduced to minutes if one party is willing to utter “I’m sorry.”  Yes, the other party may continue to rant and may attempt to get on a little rage but they can only fuel the fire solo for a limited time before the sincere  “I’m sorry” kills the action.

What a novel idea huh?  I’m sorry, I’m not perfect but pretty darn close!

To plan or not to plan?

Those of you who know me (I mean really know me) know that I take things as they come. Total type B. In fact type B was created to describe me the day I began to suck air. The Dr. announced to my parents “Mr. and Mrs. A congratulations you have a type B!!!”

Each year major and minor events come like say, oh maybe…the birth days of my children. I know these events are coming up as they do every year and mentally I make a notation of their arrival. But when it comes to preparation I just can’t get myself wrapped enough to plan ahead. I’m usually flying around a day or two (if I’m REALLY organized) before the set date of the celebration.

So when I overheard my newly turned 10yr old son, explain to his friend in great detail and with obvious meticulous mental preparation the exact flow of his upcoming party, I knew things had to change! I silently took notes from his conversation. I smiled as I overheard that he even had a time of “relaxing” in the party line up.

I have made a mental note to self…I will plan ahead…I will plan ahead…I think I can plan ahead…I will try to plan ahead…possibly I will plan ahead…

The party, my son’s party is tomorrow….I really need to plan ahead!!!