Tag Archives: Time

Life, identity theft and time alterations

I was on the computer checking the grades, homework, schedule etc. when Mr. Pavlov peered over my shoulder with eyebrows raised.  After seeing what was on the screen he said with disappointment,

“Oh, I thought you were writing something for your blog.  You know, you haven’t done a blog post in a while!”

Life happens and before you know it the house is a mess, humans are professing starvation and muscle wasting, and (now that we have a pack) the dogs are resorting to the nature of their ancestor wolves.

It is nuts here!  Literally, nuts and blogging has taken a seat in the way back of my Semi-truck.  Tick toc goes the clock and that monster isn’t kind nor does it allow any grace.  Those seconds, minutes and hours keep on moving no matter how much I kick and scream or pretend that I am Joshua.  Yes, I’ve even resorted to mild identity theft by claiming that I am Joshua of the Bible (Joshua 10:1-15) in the midst of a modern-day, domestic battle but it didn’t produce the time advantage that I was going for.  The sun kept moving.  God seemed to know that even though my life is at times, a battlefield, I am not Joshua and we are not fighting Amorites (although my kids do a spot on impression!)

Time is a powerful thing.  It ages us, and for 40+ women, this is something we’d like to slow down.  It ages our kids.  Overnight.  Just yesterday, I know my kids were in diapers and finger painting with their poo (only one created such a masterpiece all over my walls – you guess which one).  And now they are in various stages of reaching adulthood.  Uno forcefully informed us “I’m ALMOST 15!!!” when she thought a decision we made (as to whether she got to go out and experience the dark side) was too restrictive.  Almost 15!!!  Where did that time go?  And why can’t I remember it all?

My Mom told me when I was cowlick deep in bottles, diapers and sleepless nights to “enjoy this time because it goes by too quickly.”  At the time I thought she was a sick and insensitive creature who was teetering on calculated psychosis (sleep deprivation alters your perception) spouting off words that were easy for her rested cells to say.  But after I had a few hours of sleep and ceased to reek of breast milk, I knew she was onto something and I was the psychotic one.

So fast forward some 15 years and now I’m off to make my family millions as I discover a way to slow time down…when and ONLY WHEN desired.  Hmmm, and while I’m at it, I think I’ll also work on speeding it up during the awkward or uncomfortable moments in life (all the women holla Gyne exam and yes men, I got your fisted prostate exam covered too.)

Enjoy this time – all of it – while you can because it goes by too quickly (or it will once I patent my invention!)

I am a night person, hear me…howl?



sigh…still sighing…deep breath…ahh.  Ok, I am really enjoying sitting down in this chair and hearing nothing but silence!  Well, silence for me is the faint sound of the TV downstairs accompanied by my hubby’s roars of laughter, the dog’s snoring and the house making it’s weird creaking noises.  But hey, overall this is quiet compared to the sonic boom of chaotic noises and activity that sound off around here daily.  The shrieks, the screams, the burps and other body noises,  the wails of protest, the barking – occasionally from a child but usually from  the dogs- the laughter, the shouts of excitement over new discoveries, the slamming doors, the sound of feet running or pounding on the floor, car doors opening and closing multiple times throughout the day, homework books being opened followed by a loud “MOM, I have a question….”, utensils clanking against the dinner plates, slurping, chewing, running water, brushing of the teeth, gargling, more laughter, more protest, more little feet walking and finally…snoring!  Beautiful snoring is one of the sounds that welcome me to the silence of the night.

I like the night.  I finally come alive at night.  I am a bonified night person and I have my mother and her lineage to thank for this trait.  I’ve made excuses.  I’ve felt condemned.  I’ve tried to go to bed early to “re-set” my intrinsic clock.  I’ve gotten up before the sun and all living creatures.  But ya’know what?  None of it worked!  It is as if my DNA is set to awaken after dark.  I’m more productive, more creative, and more functional during this time of day, or rather, night.  So I’m here to proudly proclaim….I’m A Night Person and I Like It!!!!